Okay, so this post might be a tad personal for some! Sorry! Just keepin’ it real!
As I may or may not have mentioned before, one of the lovely side effects of my PCOS is hirsutism, or “male-pattern hair growth.” It basically means I’m MO-FO FREAKIN’ HAIRY. There, I said it, for all the world to know. To be honest, I was more embarrassed by this when I was in high school and didn’t have the means to maintain all my hair. Especially the PUBLICALLY SEEN hair. I was a plucking fool back in high school. One of the comments that I will NEVER FORGET UNTIL THE DAY I DIE comes from my lovely high school boyfriend: “Do you want to borrow my razor, so you can shave your beard?” Brutal.
Luckily for me, I’ve found an aesthetician I love, who I’ve been seeing for, oh, let me see, 7 years now!! She’s become like a mother to me. A mother who rips out the hair from my face and makes me wince in pain. Lol. Waxing is expensive. But I’ve tried all manner of hair removal and it’s the most convenient, and the only method that minimizes ingrown hairs and works with my SUPER SUPER SENSITIVE skin.
So yes, I’ve come to accept my super abundance of hair and all the maintenaince it requires. I also try to ignore the $35-every-other-week cost of getting my face waxed (GULP). Let’s go ahead and cost that out for a year, shall we? $910/year for waxing just my face. Okay, say I wax until I’m 80. That’s $47,320 worth of waxing. MAJOR GULP. That’s a lot of money on hair maintenaince. And that’s just my face! My eyebrows, lip, and chin! It doesn’t include my other hairy areas that I have to shave almost daily!
Now, I’m lucky, because most of my hair is blonde. So it’s not AS unsightly at it could be. Take my arms, for example. I have GORILLA-HAIRY arms. (Again, keepin’ it real folks!) But it’s light, so it shouldn’t be a problem, right? RIGHT? Wrong. I’ve had men PET my arms. Not the oh, he’s copping a feel and petting me all over kind of petting. Nope. More like the oooooh, it’s furry kind of petting. Shortly after THAT incident, I started shaving my arms. So that got added to my daily list of fun things to do in the shower. Yay for being hairy! (But I do looooove the smooth arms. To be honest, the prickles aren’t even that bad if I go a day or two without shaving! Unlike my legs, unfortunately. Poor Tony.)
So yeah, there’s a whole lot of upkeep involved with my hair. (And you gentlemen think we’re insane for spending a fortune on our haircuts! The hair removal is a whole ‘nother ball of wax, my friends).
I’ve gone and seen dermatologists for my PCOS, and they’ve told me all the options for my excess hair problem. Everything from topical creams, to shaving, waxing, electrolysis, and laser. The most recommended (and cost-effective if it works) is the laser hair removal. I’ve added that to my “things I will do when I have money coming out of my ears” wish list. I probably would have put it on my “things I need to do PRONTO” list, except for the fact that I couldn’t justify $2-3K on treatments that MIGHT NOT WORK. Being a hairy blonde is a catch-22, you see. The hairs are light, so it’s supposed to make me feel better because people don’t notice them right away. Heh. But light hair is supposed to have only so-so results with the laser. My dermatologist said that so long as the hair has pigment (i.e. not pure white), it can be detected by the laser, so I should give it a try. He also said that most women who see him actually shave their faces, so I shouldn’t feel bad. Lol.
Wow, I guess I had a lot to say about this topic. A lot of bottled up anguish, apparently.
But all that anguish is about to end! Hopefully! I squealed in delight when I opened my email this morning and found the following deal on Groupon:
Today’s Deal: $99 for Laser Hair Removal on Any Two Areas at Physician Laser Centers ($700 Value)
That’s an 85% savings!!!! Plus, you can purchase multiple Groupons. Each Groupon covers two areas. For example, if you want to do your full legs and bikini line, you can purchase 3 Groupons for 6 areas at $297 (regularly $2,100!) WOW! At this price, I figure why not try it. If it doesn’t work on my blonde hairs, it was worth trying. In the discussion thread, the owners of Physician Laser Centers have commented that the technology has actually improved in the last 2-3 years, and that it is more successful on blonde and red hairs. So we’ll see!
You too, my friends, can cash in on this deal. Just click on the link above, and sign up for Groupon. At the time of this post, there is 12 hours, 24 minutes left to get the deal!
Funny side note: I sent this out to all the close women I work with, and so far we have a carpooling group of FOUR to get our laser done! Bonding over hair removal. Hilarious.
Additional side note: This couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time for me! I have this random whisker that likes to pop up on my cheek, but more often than not, it just burrows and creates an ingrown cyst of enormous proportions. This week, it was annoying me and I tried to pick it out, but the little bugger wasn’t coming out to play. After a small massacre with my tweezers I had a large, oozing bloody crater on my cheek. It looks gross, still, three days later. No amount of makeup camouflages it. And of course I kept picking at the scab, which doesn’t help the healing process any. Let’s just hope the laser treatment keeps THAT from happening again. Wow. Too much information, probably. Sorry about that.
And if you’re lucky enough to be hairless, then I encourage you to still check out Groupon! They basically offer really good local discounts when enough people “buy” the deal (although you don’t get charged if there isn’t enough interest). Every day they feature a new deal for your particular area, and you can look at other cities you might be interested in as well (if you’re planning a trip somewhere, for example). Recently I’ve seen flying trapeze lessons in Mesa for 50% off, and one month of unlimited hot yoga at Bikram Yoga Phoenix ($136 Value) for only $15! It doesn’t cost anything to join and see their daily deals, so give it a try.
\end of hair rant